alcatraz is the name of both an island and prison in the san francisco bay opened in 1934. im. in alcatraz rn and they're holding me here and i keep saying im sorrybut they wont listen. i didnt mean to kill her. nobody hurts people they love. nobody would ever hurt someone they love its a preposterous idea but they DONT FUCKING BELIEVE ME!!!! so right now im here all alone. they didnt feed me food and the rats are biting me so what did i do? before i say anything i want you to know that i loved her and she was already dead. i wouldnever hurt a soul not even a fly, they crawl on me and on my wounds but i STILL dont swat them away because i am GENTLE DESPITE IT ALL. but i did eat her. her name was Pumpernickel and she was beautiful, a mother to two children whom she also ate, and i continued the cycle. i was hungry and fyodor sent her to me because of that. it would be an honor for fyodor to eat me if he was hungry, i want nothing more than for him to carve off my limbs like you would a turkey and then slowly eat me alive over the course of several days. i would keep the rot out much better than what i'm doing now because i wouldn't want fyodor to waste me and i obviously don't want him to be upset by not getting to enjoy food he was excited to eat. in this fantasy, fyodor is definitely excited to eat me. i don't know if that's true in real life but i think in the world hes created, devotion to him directly translates to how well you'd taste. i would try myself, maybe with a finger, but they don't grow back and i don't want him to miss out on anything. with things that do grow back, i have begun to eat my hair recently as it's thinning, but i've also chewed off small chunks of my hair and eaten those as well. i will say that eating hair isn't a very delightful experience (but i would eat fyodors hair regardless) because hair gets stuck in your teeth and throat easily. this is also the case for rat hair even though its significantly smaller and you'd think would be attatched to the rat skin better, but when the rat dies the hair loosens from the body. anyway, i'd rate pumpernickel around a 6/10 on flavor. while i enjoy any bounty that fyodor gives me, the only thing more singful than being ungratful is lying, and the truth is that i think any good flavor pumpernickel had was only due to her eating part of my calf. that concludes cervus's meal reviews.